Happy Turkey Day!!! (Late!!!)

I am so behind in posting!!!  I have spent the past two weeks both house-sitting for my sister & her family and then in spending time with them for Thanksgiving!!  Backing up ... my has been on both sides of the country for the past few weeks.  My sister, Denise & her family were all in Orlando at Walt Disney World for a week.  My nieces loved it - the 2 year old was star struck by all the princesses and Disney characters that she got to meet!  While they were there, I went and stayed at their house and kept watch over it and their dog, Lucky.  Lucky & my dog, Rascal, have never been best buddies - but they tolerate each other and Rascal loves having a huge yard to run around and play in.  At the same time that those 5 were in Florida enjoying the sunshiny weather ... my parents & other sister and brother-in-law were snorkeling in the warm waters of Hawaii!!  Rebecca & Jared were the only ones of our family who had never been before - they're hooked now!  It doesn't take long though - the Big Island of Hawaii makes everyone happy!!  So ... half the family is on the east coast of the US and the other half is across the country & half an ocean!  I, on the other hand, was preparing for what they kept saying was going to be our first snow and ice storm of the season in North Texas.  I'm super glad that they had the forecast incorrect - but it was still very cold here!!  Good thing Denise's house has a fireplace!!

Denise & her family were home before Thanksgiving so I spent Wednesday - Saturday of last week with them.  We took the girls to go see Disney's Frozen (great movie, by the way!), we had a small little Thanksgiving dinner, Denise & I braved the crazy Black Friday shopping, we had an after-Thanksgiving dinner get-together with the rest of the family Friday when they got home from Hawaii, and Saturday I bought my new Christmas tree!!  It has been a REALLY busy, REALLY crazy, REALLY fun two weeks!!  I hope that everyone reading had a great Thanksgiving as well and had fun with their families for the beginning of this holiday season!!

I have done pretty good the past two weeks with my diet ... I am now at 37 lbs lost! Yay!  I've experienced a little bit of problems ... some regurgitation of my food because I've eaten too fast or taken too big of a bite.  I have to remember to slow down sometimes and well, I'm not a patient person - so I just don't do it every once in a while.  It's not a comfortable thing and it pretty much kills me when it happens, but I'm getting better and learning.  I have added in some exercise ... but not too much.  I had actually been doing more prior to about a month ago - that's when I got a really awful cold and my breathing became really bad.  Every time I ride my bike or walk for too long, I get very winded and wheezy.  It has gotten quite a bit better the past few days, so I'm hoping that I can pick back up in the next day or so.  I feel so much better when I am able to exercise and I feel like I'm doing more to help myself.  Oh ... and just so everyone knows ... we did GREAT with the Thanksgiving dinner this year!!  Since it was just me and Denise's family (as seen above - aren't they a great looking group!?!) ... we decided we'd keep it very small and simple.  We had a smoked turkey that one of the men who goes to church with Denise & Jeremy did up for us ... it was DELICIOUS! Denise made a broccoli/cheese/rice casserole, green beans, carrots, salad and cranberry sauce.  That was it.  We didn't have rolls or any other kind of bread and the only sweets that we had were mini-Chocolate cupcakes (made the WW way!).  Now ... my mom did get home on Friday and it was requested that she make her apple pie (it's just not a family holiday without it!).  I was really good though and I had two little bitty slivers and I didn't eat much of the crust.  I'm sure that made everyone else happy because it left more for them ... but it was totally enough to make me happy that I got a taste of my favorite dessert!! (and it wasn't a huge slip from all my good eating!)

Okay - I promise I'll try to be better at keeping you all updated!  I'll post some Christmas decoration pictures later this week.  Eventually I'll get someone to take a decent picture of me so I can post it on here ... I'm not great at the selfie!!  Maybe I'll get someone to take one of me & Rascal in front of our tree this year!!  We'll see!!  Thanks for reading!

Catching Up (and an answer for Jace!!)

Okay ... I've been reprimanded by the sister for not keeping this updated!!  Sorry about that ... life has been getting in the way!!

First things first, I'm answering a question asked in the comments of my previous post by Jace.  What is a fill?  First of all - I LOVE that my family in Ohio is reading this & keeping up with me!!  Since I can't see you guys as often as I totally wish I could, it's great that I can share this way with you!!  I do get asked this question a lot ... by everyone from my mom to people at my office who are curious.  The best way I know how to describe it is to sort-of start from the beginning of the lap band procedure.  A ring of sorts is placed around the top of my stomach/bottom of my esophagus on the day of the actual procedure.  At that time, some saline is put into the tubing in that ring which constricts how much food/liquid can go through to my stomach at one time.  Because everyone is different, they do not normally put a large amount of saline in at that time.  I will have to go to follow-up appointments throughout the next few months now to make sure that no more saline needs to be added or none needs to be taken out.  Because at my last follow-up, I had lost a good amount of weight and I was eating correct size portions without feeling hungry - they didn't feel like I needed a fill at that time.  It's been a little over a week since that appointment and my next follow-up with them is Tuesday and I know I will need to have a fill done.  Last week I had only been on solid food for about 5 days.  Now I've been on solid food for 2 full weeks and I am not losing any more weight and I am able to eat more than I was and still not feel full.  I'm still being conscious of my food decisions and trying to eat small amounts - but it isn't always easy.  Anyway, I hope that answers your question Jace (and anyone else who was wondering the same thing!!!) ... if not, keep asking & I'll do my best to explain more!!

Now ... let me tell you that the fact that I haven't lost any more than the initial 30 lbs is kinda discouraging.  I'm not gaining anything back (so that's good) - but those first 30 seemed to just fall off so quickly ... a plateau this soon is hard for me.  However, I have decided that any time I need a confidence boost - I need only make a trip to my hometown to feel 100% better!!  This past weekend was our town's annual craft show put on by the band boosters.  My sister's in-law's had a booth the very first year (15 years ago) and over the years, my parents joined with them and now it's become a big family affair!  Both my sisters and their hubbys and the nieces come to town and most of the time, my cousin joins us as well so that we can all work the booth all day long on Saturday.  It's a family reunion as well as a small school/hometown reunion as it seems everyone in our little town comes out for this event to buy their Christmas decorations and get the first pics of the year with Santa who always makes an appearance.  This visit home was my first since the surgery -- no one had seen me at all since I began losing weight.  I may not be able to look into the mirror and see the loss, but apparently everyone else really does see it.  I got so many compliments and congrats ... and even a few who told me that I look younger (woohoo!).  I am really glad I visited home! :)  Below is just a glimpse of the new me (I got the hair done too!!) - and it's a glimpse of how I spent all afternoon, dealing with my crazy little monkey!!!!

I have talked about my procedure with a few people over the past few weeks.  One of the first questions I get is why I decided to do it.  I love food, I love to cook and in turn, I love to eat what I cook.  What would make me decide to have a surgery that prevents me from eating some foods at all and all foods to very small portions??  The answer to me, came about 3 years ago when I realized all the fun things I wanted to do with my nieces were much harder to do than I'd ever anticipated.  I couldn't run around in the yard like I wanted, I couldn't climb around in their toys because I was afraid I'd break them and I couldn't even swing on their swing set as easily as I wanted because I was uncomfortable.  I took 3 years to talk myself into it completely - and by then my wanting to run and play with 1 little girl had turned into wanting to run and play with 3 of the little munchkins ... and if I am ever to have my own kids, I don't want to have this ever be an issue at all.  I wasn't feeling really great on Sunday of this past weekend (I was getting the beginnings of a nasty cold) but my nieces were at my parents house with me and they were playing in the leaves in the backyard.  All I wanted to do was run and play with them as well ... and I WILL be doing that with them this time next year.  Here are my 3 little inspirations

Okay ... so I know this is really long ... but if you'll allow me just a little more of your time ... I know I haven't kept up with my Days of Thankfulness and there are WAY too many days to try and go back and catch up on.  But today, of all days, I want to say that I am so completely and ever thankful for the health of my family.  On Sunday, a really great guy from my hometown (and the father of a really good friend of mine) lost his battle with lung cancer.  His funeral was today ... he was just a few years older than my dad, he left behind 2 sons (both younger than me), 4 sweet little grandbabies (2 who will never even remember him they are so young) and a wife of 39 years.  I have another friend whose mother is battling cancer as well and chances are very slim that she will be with her family much longer either.  I pray for these families, my friends who are saying good-bye to their parents so early in life and as much as my heart aches for them - I am so thankful that I am not living their pain and heartbreak. I still have 3 grandparents, both of my parents are in good health ... I'm so lucky, so blessed, so grateful.  So if you are lucky enough to have your family around you in the next weeks as you celebrate the holidays - hug them! Hug them, squeeze them, tell them just how much they mean to you.  Tomorrow is not promised to any of us ... you never know if you'll have that chance again.

First Follow-Up Visit

I completely worked myself up over this follow-up visit.  I have no idea why ... but I actually think I was more nervous going to this appointment today than I was for the surgery!  I did not eat much all day long and really didn't feel very hungry - my stomach was too full of knots.  I got into my appointment right on time (very impressive!) and the first person I met with was George - my nutritional guide for AfterCare.  He was great!!  He advised that my official weight loss is 25 lbs (15 post surgery) ... I was a little bummed by that since my scale says 30 lbs, but I always weigh first thing in the morning and not with jeans, shirt & shoes on!! ... so I say it probably evens out!! lol  George went over the basics with me - the ins and outs of what I should do and shouldn't do and how much I should be eating and what I should be eating.  I am VERY happy to tell you that I am doing everything already that he mentioned.  He did advise that I could probably eat a little more solid food - just to test out my band and to see if I have any problems with anything, but otherwise I'm doing exactly what I'm supposed to be.  After he left, Shunta (the NP) came to chat with me and discuss my first fill.  After she looked at all my numbers and asked me questions about what I've been eating - she decided there is no need for me to have a fill at this time.  She said that typically patients have only lost around 10 lbs at 4 weeks and since I'm already at 14 and I'm eating well, she doesn't want to fill if it's not needed.  YAY!!  I count that as a win because I wasn't looking forward to liquids for 2-3 days again!!!  She said that since I've only been eating "solid" food for just under a week - she would like me to continue where I'm at for at least 2 more weeks.  So basically, this appointment was GREAT!  I was worried over nothing and it all boiled down to me being told I'm doing great and to keep it up!  I go back again two weeks from today & we'll re-evaluate.  She said it's not abnormal for someone to not have to get a fill on their first follow-up - it's about 50/50 - so I am good with being right there with the average person!!

... Day 5 of Thankfulness ... I am thankful for my Grandma & Grandpa Cochran.  Family means a lot to grandma & grandpa and they instilled that into their children who then passed it onto their kids ... and I believe you can see that in each of us.  Family gatherings with the Cochran family is crazy & insane ... and fun & exciting!  There are so many of us now - we seem to get bigger every time I turn around!! - but it's clear that grandma & grandpa are the center of us, the glue that holds us all together.  I have learned to cook by watching them, learned to sew with grandma VERY patiently sitting beside me, and gotten to hear stories of not only their lives as young people but about my mom & her siblings as well (which I love!).  I love getting to spend time with family when are all able to get together - but I also love the times that I get to spend with just grandma & grandpa.  Glad you both are the glue that holds are crazy, silly, insane family together - we are all very lucky to have you!!!!

Day 4 of Thanks

Day of 4 of Thanks - I am super thankful for my Grandma Gaston.  She is such an amazing inspiration and example - she is an amazing Christian woman, an awesome friend, and so unbelievably strong.  We lost my grandpa just over 2 years ago and the first thing so many people commented to me about was what would grandma do without him.  Admittedly, I wondered the same thing - but then, I knew that grandma was a super independent woman and she would make it through anything!  She still takes care of things on the farm, lives there all by herself and is still the same ole her! :)  I know she misses grandpa and I'm sure there are days that are difficult for her, but her strength and her independence are very much an inspiration.  There is so much more I could say about her, but my words always seem to get jumbled up when I talk (or write) about her!  I love my grandma - she is the world to me!!!

-- I don't have much to tell about my Weight Loss Journey today ... other than, tomorrow I will have plenty to share because tomorrow afternoon is my first visit back to True Results ... they will evaluate how I am doing so far and we'll decide if I need to have a "fill" this month (which I can already guess will be yes). Anyway - I'll fill everyone in on that tomorrow!!!!

First Time I Think I Messed Up ...

Okay ... so up until this point, I've been really good at following all the rules down to the last letter.  I was on soft foods and liquids for so long that it was really easy to limit how much I ate because I just put it in a measuring cup.  Starting this past Thursday though, I was able to start eating "real" food again ... and I experienced my first, "uh oh."  It wasn't bad, but it definitely made me stop and think and become really aware again!!

The suggestion when starting to put real food back into the diet of someone who has had lapband is to take it very slowly and only introduce a few foods at a time.  I thought the best way to do that was to incorporate some of the soft foods I'd already been eating with "real" food as well.  So, I bought tostada shells and some low fat cheddar cheese and decided for dinner last night, I'd make a tostada.  I heated the shell, heated some refried beans (my soft food) and put just a little cheese on top.  While that doesn't sound like that big of a deal (and I really thought it wasn't) - this is where my "uh oh" became a little complicated.

I couldn't decide if I maybe took too big of a bite, ate it too quickly, or maybe the melted cheese on top wasn't a good idea.  I had been warned about the feeling that I could get when I overate or ate something that didn't "work" anymore for me ... but actually HAVING that feeling wasn't really something I was prepared for.  **WARNING - this next is kinda graphic**  But I HATE to throw-up, in fact I avoid it whenever possible (even if I feel awful and that might make me feel better!) ... but never have I felt like I did last night.  It wasn't like being nauseous and it wasn't entirely like feeling like I'd overeaten - but it was uncomfortable and annoying and stressing me out.  I started pacing around my apartment, holding my arms over my head, breathing really slowly, trying to make that really awful feeling go away in any way I could think. It was AWFUL!!!  I don't ever want to feel that way again.

So ... what did I do about it?  Well, I had to know what the actual culprit to my horrible feeling actually was.  I can't prevent it from happening again unless I really know the problem ... sooooo ... guess what I ate for dinner again tonight?!?! haha ... yeah, I had another tostada.  I prepared it exactly like I did last night, but this time - I ate very small bites, chewed each bite very carefully, swallowed and made sure I took a full minute between each bite.  The verdict?  It wasn't the melted cheese (thank goodness!!!).  Tonight I felt much better after eating and just felt full like I was supposed to.  It was very clear that my problem last night had been tendency to eat too quickly.  I have to be much better at focusing on things like that.  Wish me luck - this is one thing I'm not really great at!!

Okay ... so next is my Day 3 of Thankfulness ... I am thankful for my two beautiful, amazing sisters.  We fought and bickered and spent a great deal of time during our childhood driving our parents crazy with all of that!!  My mom always told me that one day we'd surprise ourselves and be great friends and love each other a lot ... I think I probably rolled my eyes at her and said "whatever" each time she said that.  However, as she was with many things, mom was right.  We still drive each other crazy on occasion all the time and we are VERY opinionated when it comes to certain all subjects ... but we truly love each other & we are there for each other unconditionally.  They are my best friends and the two people on this earth who understand so much about me that no one else ever could, just because they're my sisters.  God blessed me so much when He added two little baby girls to my family ... my life would not be the same without them!

November Month of Thanks

So during the month of November on Facebook - a very popular thing to do is 30 Days of Thankfulness posts.  I have always participated, but this year - I think I'm moving that to my blog.  It irritates some people on Facebook, but I feel like I have SO many things to be thankful for this year and I really want to do this.  So, look forward to daily posts this month and mixed in with my normal comments about my weight loss journey, I'm going to mix in all the blessings in my life.

So - Days 1 & 2 of November, I am incredibly blessed and thankful for the most amazing parents in the entire world.  My mom & dad have been married for nearly 40 years and absolutely inspire me to keep looking for the perfect spouse, someone who will love me for me and I won't settle.  They are great role models as loving, Christian parents, working parents, a loving couple - things that I am looking to be one day in my life.  My dad survived raising 3 daughters, being the only man in the house and my mom survived raising 3 girls - even through the teenage years when daughters never think their moms know anything!! :)  I am so blessed to have these 2 people as my parents. They are my biggest cheerleaders, my biggest inspiration - without whom I would be very lost in this world.  I love you both, mom & dad!!!  Thank you for all you do and all your encouragement and love!!!

Real Food Again ...

As of 2 days ago, I began putting "real" food into my system again.  I haven't done much - some chicken, refried beans, shrimp - but the serving sizes of everything has been sooo tiny! In comparison, I'd say that my 2 year old niece eats about 3 times the amount I do in one sitting!!! lol  But I'm eating until I'm full - not stuffed, but comfortably full.  In my entire life, I could never dream that that amount of food would make me comfortable for half a day!!

More people at work are starting to notice the weight loss and I am still getting comments that I look happier than I have in a long time.  I honestly thought I was always a happy person, but apparently these days I am even happier! :)

I took a quick picture of myself this morning that I thought I'd share.  I am still not super comfortable with taking pictures of myself - I really hope that that will change as time goes on!  Thank you so much again for all the kind words and comments that I have been getting - they truly mean more than you'll ever know!!

It's Time For New Clothes ...

We are nearly at 3 weeks post-surgery and I've lost a grand total of 28 lbs (as of yesterday)!! WooHoo!  And while I can't always see it myself - I get lots of comments about it from the people around me and how they can see it, so I guess it's really happening somewhere other than just in the numbers on my scale.  While not all of my pants are too big for me yet (which makes me think I might have been wearing them a bit tight before!!) - some are definitely starting fall off!!  I don't think you're supposed to be able to slide dress pants on and off without unbuttoning or unzipping them! lol  Even the pants that are still fitting okay in the waist though, are way to big in the legs and bottom ... which, by the way, is not necessarily one of the places I really NEEDED to lose weight - but apparently it's leaving there first.  My tops that I wear constantly are definitely in need of being replaced with smaller sizes.  I have never worn my clothes really tight - especially my shirts - so now they just look really big on me and aren't flattering at all.  So, I need to get some new clothes!!!

BUT - I don't want to go buy a new wardrobe when I know I'm going to be continually losing weight.  I know it's going to be necessary at some point and I obviously know that undergarments will be VERY necessary to buy as time goes on, but I just can't stand the idea of buying new clothes and only getting to wear them for a little while and that's it.  On the bright side - I do have a co-worker who is a couple of sizes bigger than me and she is going to be having the Gastric Bypass Surgery in December ... so I am going to be giving her my now too-big clothes so that she can have something to wear in smaller sizes as she drops her weight.  And this weekend I was thinking that I really wish I was on the receiving end of that kind of deal too - it just seems ideal especially with others who are in a situation where they have done a weight loss surgery and their size is changing constantly.

And what do you know, just as I'm thinking these things, I get a text message from a good friend.  Her initial text asked me what size I wear now.  My first thought was - I am NOT telling her that!!! lol  I may be losing weight, but I still don't like telling anyone the actual size in numbers!!! lol  But, I went ahead and told her and her next text revealed that the reason she was asking is that a friend of hers had weight loss surgery about 6 months ago and she has lots of clothes that she can no longer wear - and she wanted to know if I would want them!!! YAY!!!  I'm so excited and so grateful to this girl - whom I've only ever met once - would be so kind as to make this offer to me!!  It will definitely help me out in the upcoming holiday season so that I am able to spend my money on gifts for my friends and family and not on new clothes for me!!  It's also going to be great for my co-worker since I'll be able to pass these down to her also as I "shrink" out of them!  I love that there are good, kind and thoughtful people out there in the world!!

New to this "Blogging" Thing ...

Okay ... so it was brought to my attention that no one was able to leave comments on my blog because they don't have a Google ID or AIM or any of the other options that you apparently had to click on in order to post anything.  Well - that was my bad!!  I played around with all the different settings and buttons and etc (really had no clue where I was supposed to look for this!!!) ... and I THINK I have fixed the problem!!!  At least I hope I have!  So if you've been reading and trying to comment all this time, I'm so sorry!!  Hopefully now all those "words of wisdom" you've been wanting to throw my way (or that you've been sending me on Facebook since you couldn't do it here!!) - you can now share with the world! :)  I'd love to hear from you!!!!

24 lbs people ... 24 ... Give me another couple of days and I'll add some pictures! You can tell me if you see the difference!!!

"New" Old Clothes ...

Today I wore a pair of khakis that I haven't put on in over a year!!!  I can't tell you how exciting it was to put them on!  The scale this morning says that I'm down 24 lbs - which is basically half-way to the first goal I set for myself.  I'm giving myself another 2 months to get the rest of the way ... I know that the weight will not fall off this quickly all the time, but it is still super exciting!  So ... by my calculations, by Christmas I am going to be 50 lbs lighter!!  I may actually be excited to see myself in Christmas pictures this year!!! yay!!  One of my co-workers today told me that I have a new glow about me.  I don't guess I necessarily thought anything about it - but I am feeling a bit happier these days.  I literally feel like those 24 lbs have been lifted from my shoulders and not just from my waist, face, legs, etc.  

One more day of liquid only and then I'm going to enjoy a teeny tiny bowl of broccoli cheese soup - don't worry, I'm going to make it myself and it's going to be low-fat and low-carb and low-cal!!  But it's going to taste really good ... it HAS to be more exciting than the baby food peaches and chicken soup broth that have been my diet for the past 2 weeks.

... 21 And Counting ...

Well, we're post-surgery 10 days ... after today, I can lift more than 10 lbs again!! lol  That is my big milestone today - oh, well that and the fact that as of today I'm 21 lbs lighter than I was just a little more than 3 weeks ago!  I'll let you decide which you think I'm more excited about!!

So, what has been going on with me since my last post?  Well I went back to work this week and it was a very busy week. Monday and Tuesday were actually a bit difficult for me - something I wasn't anticipating at all.  I was feeling really good on Sunday and although the reunion and traveling a lot had tired me out - I wasn't hurting at all and I was moving pretty well.  But after sitting in my desk chair for 7+ hours on Monday and trying hard to get caught up on all the things that had built up in the days I'd missed last week - I was done.  I had to leave early, come home and crash and put ice on my incisions.  I wasn't sure if the pain was truly from the incisions or what it was, but I knew I was incredibly uncomfortable.  Tuesday wasn't quite as bad, but I still couldn't make it a full 8 hours at the office.  I talked to the doctor's office Tuesday afternoon and the nurse gave me a couple of things I could try (and I won't bore you or gross you out with details) - but I went home and although I didn't get much sleep Tuesday night, I did feel much better by Wednesday.  The last 3 days of the work week flew by and while they were very busy, I did a lot better.  I remembered to get up and walk around throughout the day and I made sure I "ate" when I was supposed to.  I did come home and crash every single evening though!!

The most trying day since surgery did occur this week though - the first time I have truly been tempted by food that was being eaten around me.  Our management team on Friday purchased pizzas for the entire office in recognition of National Patient Accounts Day.  Now, pizza may not necessarily be my favorite food in the world - it really isn't - but for some reason I have always loved the smell of Pizza Hut pizza.  I'm sure it's the fact that their pizza crust is ridiculously greasy and that's what the smell is - but it always makes me think I'm hungry!!  So when there were 40+ boxes of Pizza Hut pizzas in the breakroom just a short distance down the hall from my office ... well, my stomach started grumbling and my "desire" to have just a piece of that pizza shot out the roof!!  I went into my bosses office (she was out yesterday) and I started sipping on my protein shake while the rest of the rest of the office ate their lunch.  And then I did the only thing I could think to do at that point - tell everyone in the world how I was feeling at that moment - I made a Facebook post! What I didn't expect were ALL the comments of encouragement that came next.  I figured I'd receive a few - especially since it was in the middle of the work day - but I got nearly 30 comments and almost all of them came within just a few minutes of my initial post.  That outpouring of support not only helped me remember that all of this really is worth it, but helped me remember I have the greatest cheering squad in the world helping me through this.  From the funny comments to the serious ones - each one meant so much to me!!  So thank you again for the prayers and the thoughts and the words of encouragement that I have still been getting every single day.

I'm off to go work for a couple of hours this afternoon ... who knew missing just 3 days of work would put me SOOO far behind!?!  Then I'm headed back to mom & dad's for just a little while ... it's Fall Festival time in my hometown and since I can't seem to keep away, I'm headed to help out the 3rd grade class with their booths! Plus I will stay for church tomorrow morning and get to see some of my cheering section in person! :)  Hope everyone has a great weekend!!

4 Days Post Surgery ...

I am 4 days past surgery today and I'm actually feeling really good.  I'm still careful when I bend or twist and getting out of bed - that last one is definitely the hardest to do still!!  Mom & Dad brought me back to my apartment this evening.  It's been great having them around for company the last 4 days and having them there when I needed an extra hand doing something (like getting out of bed!!!).  It has definitely challenged me a little - challenges I wouldn't have had if I had been home alone - but good for me to be around!  Let me just give you a brief overview ...

I arrive at their house Wednesday night and mom hadn't eaten dinner ... so I got to smell her homemade chili that she had made a couple of days before (and yeah, that is one of my FAVORITE things she makes).  Thursday evening I got to smell my dad's dinner that consisted of some pork chops I had made for myself earlier in the week - and they smelled GOOD and I knew they were yummy!  Friday evening, I got to smell the kitchen as my mom made casseroles (both of which I like) and a chocolate chip pie that she was taking to a family reunion on Saturday!  Then Saturday evening when they got back home, Mom baked another dessert for our reunion we had today!  OH - and on Saturday I made the dressing for an Asian salad that is one of my absolute favorite things to eat (thank you Aunt Kathy!) - and I mixed it up with the salad mom had made up the day before.  And in addition to all of that cooking going on, mom & dad had pizza for dinner Friday night!!! haha ... it was a FOOD filled weekend and I made it through!!

I have gone the past 4 days eating the "foods" I'm supposed to (liquids aren't really foods, but whatever!), walking like I'm supposed to and not lifting or doing anything strenuous like I'm supposed to.  I've been a very good patient! ... and I'm super super excited to report that all that being a good patient stuff has definitely paid off!!  Going from the beginning of the 2-week pre-op diet ... I am down 17 lbs ... 7 of those in the past 4 days!!!!!!!!  YAY!!!!!!!!

It hasn't been super difficult yet - mainly because I'm sore and post-op "bleh" - but I'm not getting hungry, I'm not tempted to eat at all or drink too much. But I don't expect it to always be this easy - I'm preparing for temptations to come my way ... the pay off though is definitely great enough reason for me to remain vigilant!! :)

-- and added to the greatness of the weight loss, I got to see lots of family members today that I adore and love so much!  We had our Loving Family Reunion (my grandma's grandma's family) today.  My grandma's family means the world to me and all my awesome cousins have been so supportive through this so far! I got lots of hugs and good lucks today!

The Morning After ...

So pretty much as with everything else - the next day you feel it!!  Actually, I hope it's because I literally just woke up that I am hurting as much as I am right now and that some movement throughout the morning will help, but right now - not loving this whole thing too much!

BUT - yesterday actually went pretty smoothly.  My sister and nieces showed up on time to get me to the surgery center (though one of the girls had no shoes - mommy forgot them - and they ended up at Target to get her some later ... I think that was sister's way of getting to shop!!! lol).  I had to wait a little while at the surgery center before things really got started and fill out some paperwork (of course), but it wasn't too horrible.  It was a busy place for that early in the morning ... and quite a few men were there for band surgery and sleeve surgery, which I guess surprised me a little bit.  Anyway, they finally took me back and put me in a gown and got me settled in the bed in the pre-op area.  They asked lots of health questions ... I got LOTS of questions when they ask about hospitalization history and I had to tell them about the 5 days I was in for blood clots 5 years ago - I got told yet again that I'm lucky to be alive.  Anyway, then a patient advocate from the surgeon's office came by to see me and wish me luck and give me her information to call her if I ever have any questions.  It's pretty cool that she is a band patient herself and that she is available to answer those types of questions as well as medial ones that I could possibly have in the next few days.  So after that, they had the anesthesiologist come see me.  He and the nurse talked for just a minute - asked me the standard confirmation of identity questions - then he looked at the nurse and asked "are we ready for this?" She said yes ....

And I don't remember another thing until I was waking up with the discharge nurse over me and him telling me to take a big breath and cough!  I wasn't hurting too much - but I definitely was freezing cold. Anesthesia must just do that to me because I was shaking all over I was shivering so badly.  They didn't take long to have me up and walking to the other end of the hall in order to have an x-ray to make sure everything looked good.  At this point they hadn't found my glasses for me so I didn't see a single thing - I was just being led blindly around (though the x-ray tech had fun messing with me and the fact I couldn't see - he kept putting his hands right in front of my face and waving and laughing!).  After the x-ray (so about 15 minutes after I had woken up) - they sat me in a reclining chair, hooked me up to a couple of machines to keep track of my vitals, and gave me a little cup of water and told me to sip it.  They also let me know that my sister was on her way and would be back as soon as she got there.

Well - this is where it got long and boring.  My sister & nieces made it there, but there was no one at the reception desk when they arrived so it was probably 20 minutes from the time they got there until the time they had them come back to see me.  The girls weren't sure about me and the fact that I was all bundled up in blankets and had machines hooked up to me - I didn't get any hugs or kisses, just smiles and grins.  They had us go over the discharge material together so that someone other than me just coming off of some drugs was clear on what all I have to do for the next several days.  We did that pretty quickly, we visited some, asked the girls what they had done all morning .... and then we waited, and we waited, and we waited.  The discharge nurse came by a couple of times, but never acted at all like they were ready to send me home yet.  Finally I told him that I was sore, but that I thought if I could just get up and move (I'd been sitting in that chair for nearly 2 hours at this point) that I would actually be okay.  He said he didn't have time to walk with me just then, but he could give me some pain medication and then come back in about 30 minutes and walk with me and get me ready to go home.  I just looked at him and said "Can I not just go home now?"  I was done.  The girls were restless, I was restless and I just wanted to be in my own clothes and on my own bed or couch.  I think I surprised him a little, but he agreed.

It still took about another 30 minutes to get me fully discharged, but I did get to stand up and change my clothes and go to the restroom. The older niece finally came near me and held my hand and gave me kisses! And we were leaving!  I had arrived that morning at 7:30 and we finally left at just after 2:00.  

Anyway, we still had to go to the pharmacy and get my pain meds - but we finally did make it back to my apartment.  My poor nieces were so hungry ... so they got popcorn when we got there and my sister and I made sure I had everything I would need.  She cut my medications for me so that they are small enough for me to swallow comfortably now and she made me breathe into this little contraption they sent home with me (prevents pneumonia and/or collapsed lungs).  It's kinda nice to have a nurse around :)  Anyway, one of the things that they had told me before going home and even earlier that morning was that I needed to have someone with me for the next 24 hours.  Well, that worried the sister nurse!  She didn't like the idea of me staying at home by myself until this afternoon.  She couldn't stay any longer ... the oldest niece was at home still and definitely not happy that her mom & sisters were with me and she wasn't ... plus the little girls had been super good all day but they were ready for normalcy.  So ... I made a phone call (or actually finally got to answer a phone call) to my mom.  I told her what they had said at the surgery center and that the sister was worried - and a couple of hours later, she was there to get me.  

Of course I hadn't remembered to have my bag out before I left for surgery ... so I was able to get things together before she got there, but I had to have help getting my bags out (this was frustrating! I don't love being helpless!).  I packed up all my groceries that I can have.  Oh, this is where I should tell you my up coming diet for the next two weeks!!  So, first I have to drink my protein shakes ... no different from the past 2 weeks, but I can just have a much smaller amount.  And then, I can have 1 of the following (no more than 1/4 of a cup) 2 or 3 times during the day: sugar free pudding, sugar free jello, baby food, broth, sugar free popsicles, sugar free applesauce and low fat yogurt. I'm gonna be eating like a king!!! haha

So ... I'm at mom & dad's now.  I've walked quite a bit around the house, I've been breathing into my trusty little contraption like I'm supposed to and I've kept ice on my incisions to help with swelling (and soreness).  I only had to take 1 tsp of my pain meds last night before bed - just to help me relax for sleeping.  I did sleep in the chair with my feet up on the ottoman.  It just hurts to badly to try to get up from a laying position right now unless there is someone right there to help.  I was afraid I'd have to get up in the middle of the night and not be able to do it, so the chair worked.  And actually it didn't sleep too badly - it was very comfortable.  I only had to get up once in the middle of the night and that was after nearly 4 good hours of sleep and then I slept straight through until mom and dad had to get up and start getting ready for work today - but even that was after another few good hours of sleep.

So, yes - I do hurt more this morning than I did yesterday ... I'm moving a little slower ... but even as I've been sitting here writing this (and I don't mean constantly sitting - because I have gotten up and walked, poured myself my 1st shake of the day, and checked my bandages again) - I am starting to feel better.  Mom has left for work and dad will be leaving in the next few minutes.  The house will be peaceful, I have a list of Netflix shows I want to watch, and this chair is still pretty comfy!

Thank you so much to everyone for all the prayers, the calls, the texts, the emails, etc that I have received in the past couple of days.  It truly means so much to me to know that I have such a great group of people in my life - both family & friends - to love and support me through this.  The painful part is basically over ... now comes the self-discipline part of sticking to the rules!!!!

It's Real ....

I don't know why this whole journey has seemed so "unreal" to me up until this point.  I've been going to doctor appointments, been eating better, been eating differently in general ... but it still hasn't seemed really real. Maybe it's because I've never taken such definitive and drastic measures to reach a goal ... and I don't just mean where my weight is concerned - but in anything in my life.  I've been very much a laid back person who has just let life go on all around me.  That isn't to say that I'm not an active participant in my own life and the things that go on in it, I just have never had to do anything "big" to get to the end result.  This is big - this is more life changing that anything up to this point for me.  It's exciting and nerve-wracking ... I'm anxious and anticipatory ... and yesterday I put my stomach into a thousand knots worrying over it all.  But I'm better today - less stressed and more just excited.  At the office today - I got lots of well wishes and good lucks from those that know what is going on and that meant a lot.  They have been super encouraging ... which is funny when they bring in Wing Stop - they know I would love to eat some of those french fries so they just tell me how great it is that I'm being so good and staying strong ... WHILE they put those yummy fries in their mouths!! It's okay - I forgive them when they ask how I'm feeling, how much weight I've lost so far and tell me they just know I'm going to look so "hot" in a few months! haha

My sister will be here in the morning to take me to the Surgery Center.  She is bringing her youngest two girls which I've decided is actually a good thing - because regardless of how nervous I might be going into tomorrow, I know that hugs and kisses from those two sweet girls will be all the calming that I need.  The surgery is at 9 and provided that they are on time and everything goes smoothly (and it WILL!) - I'll be back at my apartment by noon tomorrow.  That seems crazy to me - that such a big event for me will only take a very short amount of time - but it's also great.  I can be in my own bed - able to sleep under my covers and watch all those things on my DVR that have been sitting there for a while now!  Mom is going to come get me Thursday afternoon so I can spend the rest of the week with her & dad.  And even though I won't be in my bed there (and I won't have a tv in my bedroom there!) - it's still nice to be able to be at "home" when I feel crummy!

So ... wish me luck everyone & please say a prayer that everything does go smoothly and that I can mentally & physically get through this.  I'll be sure and post tomorrow or Thursday and let you know how everything is!!

Starting Point: 0

Everyone Has a Story ...

Since making the decision to have this procedure done, I've heard stories from countless people.  Many of these stories have been success stories - how individuals have lost 70 to 100 lbs in 10 to 12 months - how their lives have changed completely.  While each of these individuals have had much success - they have also put a lot of work into reaching their goals.  They follow the rules - eat what they are supposed to, exercise, go to their follow-up appointments, make good life decisions.  Each of these stories have been told by people who are hugely supportive of my decision and their experiences have been super encouraging to me.  I've been getting great encouragement from people who have no experience with this procedure or any other weight loss surgery.  And even some who I've spoken to who haven't been super sure about my decision, have been encouraging and spoken their concern with lots of love.

But then there are "the others" ... those people who have felt the need to tell me that this is absolutely the wrong decision, that I will fail because I'm not having the "right" weight loss procedure done.  There have been many as well who have felt the need to tell me of their own, their family members' or their friends' stories of failure with the lap band.  I'm not ever sure what these people have in mind when they're telling me these stories.  I think maybe some of them are truly trying to help me - maybe they just don't know how to best going about doing that.  What I have found to be a common thread in all of these stories - is that none of them have been willing to fully commit to a "new life."  I've heard how they were only able to eat ice cream ... that they couldn't keep anything down ... they were only able to eat mashed potatoes or jello.  That while they initially lost some weight, they eventually gained that back and then some.

These stories ... they have done nothing more than make me want to prove these individuals wrong about the lap band!!  I can't imagine that if you do what the doctors have told me to do, stick to the rules, make the life changes that are necessary - that you can't succeed.  And I haven't thought and prayed about this for the past 3 years and dedicated myself to its success for the past 6 months to just fail at it now that it's really here!!  I will be a success story ... I will look back on this date - one year from now - and know that I made the RIGHT decision, the BEST decision.  I will be a different person - both inside and out ... a better person.

Getting to Oct 9th ...

So the first thing they told me last week when they called to officially schedule my procedure - is that I needed to immediately start my "pre-surgery" diet.  This consists of 2-3 protein shakes a day and 1-2 small meals consisting of no more than 6 oz of lean meat and no more than 1 cup of green veggies and 1 cup of fruit (except bananas - no bananas).  Well, the best part of that was that I had dinner plans the night they called!  So I told the woman on the phone that I promised to start hard core the very next morning!! :) (and I enjoyed eating my dinner out that night!)

But then morning came ... and it was time to get serious.  I had a protein shake for breakfast (it actually wasn't THAT bad), 5 oz of turkey breast lunch meat and an orange for lunch, a protein shake a couple of hours later and then 5 oz of turkey breast lunch meat for dinner along with 1 c of grapes.  Can I just tell you - THAT IS NOT MUCH FOOD!  At least it's not when I've been eating full meals 3 times a day for years - and usually in those 3 meals, there are carbs!!  But I did it ... and I survived ... and I actually wasn't hungry for anything else.  I survived Friday as well and had made sure there was nothing in my apartment that would tempt me throughout the weekend ... but then I found myself in a dilemma ...

My cousin from Georgia messaged and said she was in town and would love for us to all get together Saturday night ... at a Mexican food restaurant!!  My initial reaction was to tell her I couldn't go - to let her know that I really wanted to see her, but that being in a restaurant (especially one with free chips & salsa sitting right in front of me!!!) would be too difficult for me right now.  I thought over it (and did lots of texting with my mom & 1 of my sisters) and eventually decided I'd just suck it up!  There will be lots more dinner invitations (or I hope there will be!!) in the coming months and I've got to be able to survive sitting there and making the right decision when looking at the menu.  So ... I went ... and it was actually not that bad.  I had a great time with my cousins and grandma and parents & sisters & their families (17 of us in all - which I know the restaurant just LOVED!!!)!!  And I actually found something on the menu that I could eat.  I avoided the chips and salsa completely (not without difficulty, but I managed!), I ordered grilled fish tacos - and only ate the fish (I gave the rice & beans to my niece!) ... and I had brought a snack baggie full of green grapes (which my niece kept calling little apples! haha).  Temptations squashed - totally survived what I felt like was my first really big test!!! YAY!!

I made it through the whole weekend and today ... no problems!  I won't say that it wasn't hard  ... especially when I was a little bored last night and REALLY wanted to go get Chinese food!!! ... I just found something else to occupy my mind.  I know I wasn't hungry - I was just bored - but that does not mean I need to eat (even though that's been such a go to for me for years).  That's a big thing in my life that I know I have to change ... baby steps, right?

Anyway ... these are the steps I'm taking to get me to November 9th!! ... oh, and all this being strict on myself is showing already ... since Thursday morning - I've lost 6 lbs!! :)

The First Steps

A little over six months ago, I took the first step to changing things in my life.  After many years of being overweight - I decided to take a big step to change that.  I went to a consultation for the lap band surgery.  It was a free consultation - nothing had to be done - I wasn't even sure I wanted to do it for sure.  After 30 minutes of talking with a weight loss advocate, I knew I needed to make this decision.  Once a month since the beginning of April, I've visited with a dietitian and medical staff to help prepare me for the next steps.  On the 25th of September, I got the phone call that told me that insurance had approved the surgery.  My questionable visit I made half a year ago is now becoming my reality.  On October 9th - I will be having the lap band procedure and the beginning of a very new life for me will begin.

I didn't want to post this on a social media site like Facebook, I don't know that I necessarily want the entire world to know every single thing about this journey.  However, I also know that taking this journey without any one else - will be impossible.  I don't have a husband or kids watching me through every step and I don't see family members every day to help keep me accountable.  What I do have, though, is a whole network of friends and family all across the country that I've been able to stay in touch with over the years through the internet.  So while this isn't my normal way of communicating - I'm hoping some of you will read my blog and go through this journey with me.  Once I have the surgery - I'm going to post my food diary, exercise journal and every now and then, pictures of my progress.  I'm sure it won't be the most exciting or interesting blog to read ... but if you know me, you know I'll have extra commentary through the whole thing! :) 

So - thanks for reading ... hope you'll stop in every now and again to see how this new adventure in my life is going.  Thanks for the support and encouragement too - it means more than I could ever tell you!!

~~ Lisa ~~


-- to start it all off, I will post the picture I hope soon will very much be a thing of the past ... I don't want to look like this any more.  This is my starting point ...