It's Time For New Clothes ...

We are nearly at 3 weeks post-surgery and I've lost a grand total of 28 lbs (as of yesterday)!! WooHoo!  And while I can't always see it myself - I get lots of comments about it from the people around me and how they can see it, so I guess it's really happening somewhere other than just in the numbers on my scale.  While not all of my pants are too big for me yet (which makes me think I might have been wearing them a bit tight before!!) - some are definitely starting fall off!!  I don't think you're supposed to be able to slide dress pants on and off without unbuttoning or unzipping them! lol  Even the pants that are still fitting okay in the waist though, are way to big in the legs and bottom ... which, by the way, is not necessarily one of the places I really NEEDED to lose weight - but apparently it's leaving there first.  My tops that I wear constantly are definitely in need of being replaced with smaller sizes.  I have never worn my clothes really tight - especially my shirts - so now they just look really big on me and aren't flattering at all.  So, I need to get some new clothes!!!

BUT - I don't want to go buy a new wardrobe when I know I'm going to be continually losing weight.  I know it's going to be necessary at some point and I obviously know that undergarments will be VERY necessary to buy as time goes on, but I just can't stand the idea of buying new clothes and only getting to wear them for a little while and that's it.  On the bright side - I do have a co-worker who is a couple of sizes bigger than me and she is going to be having the Gastric Bypass Surgery in December ... so I am going to be giving her my now too-big clothes so that she can have something to wear in smaller sizes as she drops her weight.  And this weekend I was thinking that I really wish I was on the receiving end of that kind of deal too - it just seems ideal especially with others who are in a situation where they have done a weight loss surgery and their size is changing constantly.

And what do you know, just as I'm thinking these things, I get a text message from a good friend.  Her initial text asked me what size I wear now.  My first thought was - I am NOT telling her that!!! lol  I may be losing weight, but I still don't like telling anyone the actual size in numbers!!! lol  But, I went ahead and told her and her next text revealed that the reason she was asking is that a friend of hers had weight loss surgery about 6 months ago and she has lots of clothes that she can no longer wear - and she wanted to know if I would want them!!! YAY!!!  I'm so excited and so grateful to this girl - whom I've only ever met once - would be so kind as to make this offer to me!!  It will definitely help me out in the upcoming holiday season so that I am able to spend my money on gifts for my friends and family and not on new clothes for me!!  It's also going to be great for my co-worker since I'll be able to pass these down to her also as I "shrink" out of them!  I love that there are good, kind and thoughtful people out there in the world!!

New to this "Blogging" Thing ...

Okay ... so it was brought to my attention that no one was able to leave comments on my blog because they don't have a Google ID or AIM or any of the other options that you apparently had to click on in order to post anything.  Well - that was my bad!!  I played around with all the different settings and buttons and etc (really had no clue where I was supposed to look for this!!!) ... and I THINK I have fixed the problem!!!  At least I hope I have!  So if you've been reading and trying to comment all this time, I'm so sorry!!  Hopefully now all those "words of wisdom" you've been wanting to throw my way (or that you've been sending me on Facebook since you couldn't do it here!!) - you can now share with the world! :)  I'd love to hear from you!!!!

24 lbs people ... 24 ... Give me another couple of days and I'll add some pictures! You can tell me if you see the difference!!!

"New" Old Clothes ...

Today I wore a pair of khakis that I haven't put on in over a year!!!  I can't tell you how exciting it was to put them on!  The scale this morning says that I'm down 24 lbs - which is basically half-way to the first goal I set for myself.  I'm giving myself another 2 months to get the rest of the way ... I know that the weight will not fall off this quickly all the time, but it is still super exciting!  So ... by my calculations, by Christmas I am going to be 50 lbs lighter!!  I may actually be excited to see myself in Christmas pictures this year!!! yay!!  One of my co-workers today told me that I have a new glow about me.  I don't guess I necessarily thought anything about it - but I am feeling a bit happier these days.  I literally feel like those 24 lbs have been lifted from my shoulders and not just from my waist, face, legs, etc.  

One more day of liquid only and then I'm going to enjoy a teeny tiny bowl of broccoli cheese soup - don't worry, I'm going to make it myself and it's going to be low-fat and low-carb and low-cal!!  But it's going to taste really good ... it HAS to be more exciting than the baby food peaches and chicken soup broth that have been my diet for the past 2 weeks.

... 21 And Counting ...

Well, we're post-surgery 10 days ... after today, I can lift more than 10 lbs again!! lol  That is my big milestone today - oh, well that and the fact that as of today I'm 21 lbs lighter than I was just a little more than 3 weeks ago!  I'll let you decide which you think I'm more excited about!!

So, what has been going on with me since my last post?  Well I went back to work this week and it was a very busy week. Monday and Tuesday were actually a bit difficult for me - something I wasn't anticipating at all.  I was feeling really good on Sunday and although the reunion and traveling a lot had tired me out - I wasn't hurting at all and I was moving pretty well.  But after sitting in my desk chair for 7+ hours on Monday and trying hard to get caught up on all the things that had built up in the days I'd missed last week - I was done.  I had to leave early, come home and crash and put ice on my incisions.  I wasn't sure if the pain was truly from the incisions or what it was, but I knew I was incredibly uncomfortable.  Tuesday wasn't quite as bad, but I still couldn't make it a full 8 hours at the office.  I talked to the doctor's office Tuesday afternoon and the nurse gave me a couple of things I could try (and I won't bore you or gross you out with details) - but I went home and although I didn't get much sleep Tuesday night, I did feel much better by Wednesday.  The last 3 days of the work week flew by and while they were very busy, I did a lot better.  I remembered to get up and walk around throughout the day and I made sure I "ate" when I was supposed to.  I did come home and crash every single evening though!!

The most trying day since surgery did occur this week though - the first time I have truly been tempted by food that was being eaten around me.  Our management team on Friday purchased pizzas for the entire office in recognition of National Patient Accounts Day.  Now, pizza may not necessarily be my favorite food in the world - it really isn't - but for some reason I have always loved the smell of Pizza Hut pizza.  I'm sure it's the fact that their pizza crust is ridiculously greasy and that's what the smell is - but it always makes me think I'm hungry!!  So when there were 40+ boxes of Pizza Hut pizzas in the breakroom just a short distance down the hall from my office ... well, my stomach started grumbling and my "desire" to have just a piece of that pizza shot out the roof!!  I went into my bosses office (she was out yesterday) and I started sipping on my protein shake while the rest of the rest of the office ate their lunch.  And then I did the only thing I could think to do at that point - tell everyone in the world how I was feeling at that moment - I made a Facebook post! What I didn't expect were ALL the comments of encouragement that came next.  I figured I'd receive a few - especially since it was in the middle of the work day - but I got nearly 30 comments and almost all of them came within just a few minutes of my initial post.  That outpouring of support not only helped me remember that all of this really is worth it, but helped me remember I have the greatest cheering squad in the world helping me through this.  From the funny comments to the serious ones - each one meant so much to me!!  So thank you again for the prayers and the thoughts and the words of encouragement that I have still been getting every single day.

I'm off to go work for a couple of hours this afternoon ... who knew missing just 3 days of work would put me SOOO far behind!?!  Then I'm headed back to mom & dad's for just a little while ... it's Fall Festival time in my hometown and since I can't seem to keep away, I'm headed to help out the 3rd grade class with their booths! Plus I will stay for church tomorrow morning and get to see some of my cheering section in person! :)  Hope everyone has a great weekend!!

4 Days Post Surgery ...

I am 4 days past surgery today and I'm actually feeling really good.  I'm still careful when I bend or twist and getting out of bed - that last one is definitely the hardest to do still!!  Mom & Dad brought me back to my apartment this evening.  It's been great having them around for company the last 4 days and having them there when I needed an extra hand doing something (like getting out of bed!!!).  It has definitely challenged me a little - challenges I wouldn't have had if I had been home alone - but good for me to be around!  Let me just give you a brief overview ...

I arrive at their house Wednesday night and mom hadn't eaten dinner ... so I got to smell her homemade chili that she had made a couple of days before (and yeah, that is one of my FAVORITE things she makes).  Thursday evening I got to smell my dad's dinner that consisted of some pork chops I had made for myself earlier in the week - and they smelled GOOD and I knew they were yummy!  Friday evening, I got to smell the kitchen as my mom made casseroles (both of which I like) and a chocolate chip pie that she was taking to a family reunion on Saturday!  Then Saturday evening when they got back home, Mom baked another dessert for our reunion we had today!  OH - and on Saturday I made the dressing for an Asian salad that is one of my absolute favorite things to eat (thank you Aunt Kathy!) - and I mixed it up with the salad mom had made up the day before.  And in addition to all of that cooking going on, mom & dad had pizza for dinner Friday night!!! haha ... it was a FOOD filled weekend and I made it through!!

I have gone the past 4 days eating the "foods" I'm supposed to (liquids aren't really foods, but whatever!), walking like I'm supposed to and not lifting or doing anything strenuous like I'm supposed to.  I've been a very good patient! ... and I'm super super excited to report that all that being a good patient stuff has definitely paid off!!  Going from the beginning of the 2-week pre-op diet ... I am down 17 lbs ... 7 of those in the past 4 days!!!!!!!!  YAY!!!!!!!!

It hasn't been super difficult yet - mainly because I'm sore and post-op "bleh" - but I'm not getting hungry, I'm not tempted to eat at all or drink too much. But I don't expect it to always be this easy - I'm preparing for temptations to come my way ... the pay off though is definitely great enough reason for me to remain vigilant!! :)

-- and added to the greatness of the weight loss, I got to see lots of family members today that I adore and love so much!  We had our Loving Family Reunion (my grandma's grandma's family) today.  My grandma's family means the world to me and all my awesome cousins have been so supportive through this so far! I got lots of hugs and good lucks today!

The Morning After ...

So pretty much as with everything else - the next day you feel it!!  Actually, I hope it's because I literally just woke up that I am hurting as much as I am right now and that some movement throughout the morning will help, but right now - not loving this whole thing too much!

BUT - yesterday actually went pretty smoothly.  My sister and nieces showed up on time to get me to the surgery center (though one of the girls had no shoes - mommy forgot them - and they ended up at Target to get her some later ... I think that was sister's way of getting to shop!!! lol).  I had to wait a little while at the surgery center before things really got started and fill out some paperwork (of course), but it wasn't too horrible.  It was a busy place for that early in the morning ... and quite a few men were there for band surgery and sleeve surgery, which I guess surprised me a little bit.  Anyway, they finally took me back and put me in a gown and got me settled in the bed in the pre-op area.  They asked lots of health questions ... I got LOTS of questions when they ask about hospitalization history and I had to tell them about the 5 days I was in for blood clots 5 years ago - I got told yet again that I'm lucky to be alive.  Anyway, then a patient advocate from the surgeon's office came by to see me and wish me luck and give me her information to call her if I ever have any questions.  It's pretty cool that she is a band patient herself and that she is available to answer those types of questions as well as medial ones that I could possibly have in the next few days.  So after that, they had the anesthesiologist come see me.  He and the nurse talked for just a minute - asked me the standard confirmation of identity questions - then he looked at the nurse and asked "are we ready for this?" She said yes ....

And I don't remember another thing until I was waking up with the discharge nurse over me and him telling me to take a big breath and cough!  I wasn't hurting too much - but I definitely was freezing cold. Anesthesia must just do that to me because I was shaking all over I was shivering so badly.  They didn't take long to have me up and walking to the other end of the hall in order to have an x-ray to make sure everything looked good.  At this point they hadn't found my glasses for me so I didn't see a single thing - I was just being led blindly around (though the x-ray tech had fun messing with me and the fact I couldn't see - he kept putting his hands right in front of my face and waving and laughing!).  After the x-ray (so about 15 minutes after I had woken up) - they sat me in a reclining chair, hooked me up to a couple of machines to keep track of my vitals, and gave me a little cup of water and told me to sip it.  They also let me know that my sister was on her way and would be back as soon as she got there.

Well - this is where it got long and boring.  My sister & nieces made it there, but there was no one at the reception desk when they arrived so it was probably 20 minutes from the time they got there until the time they had them come back to see me.  The girls weren't sure about me and the fact that I was all bundled up in blankets and had machines hooked up to me - I didn't get any hugs or kisses, just smiles and grins.  They had us go over the discharge material together so that someone other than me just coming off of some drugs was clear on what all I have to do for the next several days.  We did that pretty quickly, we visited some, asked the girls what they had done all morning .... and then we waited, and we waited, and we waited.  The discharge nurse came by a couple of times, but never acted at all like they were ready to send me home yet.  Finally I told him that I was sore, but that I thought if I could just get up and move (I'd been sitting in that chair for nearly 2 hours at this point) that I would actually be okay.  He said he didn't have time to walk with me just then, but he could give me some pain medication and then come back in about 30 minutes and walk with me and get me ready to go home.  I just looked at him and said "Can I not just go home now?"  I was done.  The girls were restless, I was restless and I just wanted to be in my own clothes and on my own bed or couch.  I think I surprised him a little, but he agreed.

It still took about another 30 minutes to get me fully discharged, but I did get to stand up and change my clothes and go to the restroom. The older niece finally came near me and held my hand and gave me kisses! And we were leaving!  I had arrived that morning at 7:30 and we finally left at just after 2:00.  

Anyway, we still had to go to the pharmacy and get my pain meds - but we finally did make it back to my apartment.  My poor nieces were so hungry ... so they got popcorn when we got there and my sister and I made sure I had everything I would need.  She cut my medications for me so that they are small enough for me to swallow comfortably now and she made me breathe into this little contraption they sent home with me (prevents pneumonia and/or collapsed lungs).  It's kinda nice to have a nurse around :)  Anyway, one of the things that they had told me before going home and even earlier that morning was that I needed to have someone with me for the next 24 hours.  Well, that worried the sister nurse!  She didn't like the idea of me staying at home by myself until this afternoon.  She couldn't stay any longer ... the oldest niece was at home still and definitely not happy that her mom & sisters were with me and she wasn't ... plus the little girls had been super good all day but they were ready for normalcy.  So ... I made a phone call (or actually finally got to answer a phone call) to my mom.  I told her what they had said at the surgery center and that the sister was worried - and a couple of hours later, she was there to get me.  

Of course I hadn't remembered to have my bag out before I left for surgery ... so I was able to get things together before she got there, but I had to have help getting my bags out (this was frustrating! I don't love being helpless!).  I packed up all my groceries that I can have.  Oh, this is where I should tell you my up coming diet for the next two weeks!!  So, first I have to drink my protein shakes ... no different from the past 2 weeks, but I can just have a much smaller amount.  And then, I can have 1 of the following (no more than 1/4 of a cup) 2 or 3 times during the day: sugar free pudding, sugar free jello, baby food, broth, sugar free popsicles, sugar free applesauce and low fat yogurt. I'm gonna be eating like a king!!! haha

So ... I'm at mom & dad's now.  I've walked quite a bit around the house, I've been breathing into my trusty little contraption like I'm supposed to and I've kept ice on my incisions to help with swelling (and soreness).  I only had to take 1 tsp of my pain meds last night before bed - just to help me relax for sleeping.  I did sleep in the chair with my feet up on the ottoman.  It just hurts to badly to try to get up from a laying position right now unless there is someone right there to help.  I was afraid I'd have to get up in the middle of the night and not be able to do it, so the chair worked.  And actually it didn't sleep too badly - it was very comfortable.  I only had to get up once in the middle of the night and that was after nearly 4 good hours of sleep and then I slept straight through until mom and dad had to get up and start getting ready for work today - but even that was after another few good hours of sleep.

So, yes - I do hurt more this morning than I did yesterday ... I'm moving a little slower ... but even as I've been sitting here writing this (and I don't mean constantly sitting - because I have gotten up and walked, poured myself my 1st shake of the day, and checked my bandages again) - I am starting to feel better.  Mom has left for work and dad will be leaving in the next few minutes.  The house will be peaceful, I have a list of Netflix shows I want to watch, and this chair is still pretty comfy!

Thank you so much to everyone for all the prayers, the calls, the texts, the emails, etc that I have received in the past couple of days.  It truly means so much to me to know that I have such a great group of people in my life - both family & friends - to love and support me through this.  The painful part is basically over ... now comes the self-discipline part of sticking to the rules!!!!

It's Real ....

I don't know why this whole journey has seemed so "unreal" to me up until this point.  I've been going to doctor appointments, been eating better, been eating differently in general ... but it still hasn't seemed really real. Maybe it's because I've never taken such definitive and drastic measures to reach a goal ... and I don't just mean where my weight is concerned - but in anything in my life.  I've been very much a laid back person who has just let life go on all around me.  That isn't to say that I'm not an active participant in my own life and the things that go on in it, I just have never had to do anything "big" to get to the end result.  This is big - this is more life changing that anything up to this point for me.  It's exciting and nerve-wracking ... I'm anxious and anticipatory ... and yesterday I put my stomach into a thousand knots worrying over it all.  But I'm better today - less stressed and more just excited.  At the office today - I got lots of well wishes and good lucks from those that know what is going on and that meant a lot.  They have been super encouraging ... which is funny when they bring in Wing Stop - they know I would love to eat some of those french fries so they just tell me how great it is that I'm being so good and staying strong ... WHILE they put those yummy fries in their mouths!! It's okay - I forgive them when they ask how I'm feeling, how much weight I've lost so far and tell me they just know I'm going to look so "hot" in a few months! haha

My sister will be here in the morning to take me to the Surgery Center.  She is bringing her youngest two girls which I've decided is actually a good thing - because regardless of how nervous I might be going into tomorrow, I know that hugs and kisses from those two sweet girls will be all the calming that I need.  The surgery is at 9 and provided that they are on time and everything goes smoothly (and it WILL!) - I'll be back at my apartment by noon tomorrow.  That seems crazy to me - that such a big event for me will only take a very short amount of time - but it's also great.  I can be in my own bed - able to sleep under my covers and watch all those things on my DVR that have been sitting there for a while now!  Mom is going to come get me Thursday afternoon so I can spend the rest of the week with her & dad.  And even though I won't be in my bed there (and I won't have a tv in my bedroom there!) - it's still nice to be able to be at "home" when I feel crummy!

So ... wish me luck everyone & please say a prayer that everything does go smoothly and that I can mentally & physically get through this.  I'll be sure and post tomorrow or Thursday and let you know how everything is!!

Starting Point: 0

Everyone Has a Story ...

Since making the decision to have this procedure done, I've heard stories from countless people.  Many of these stories have been success stories - how individuals have lost 70 to 100 lbs in 10 to 12 months - how their lives have changed completely.  While each of these individuals have had much success - they have also put a lot of work into reaching their goals.  They follow the rules - eat what they are supposed to, exercise, go to their follow-up appointments, make good life decisions.  Each of these stories have been told by people who are hugely supportive of my decision and their experiences have been super encouraging to me.  I've been getting great encouragement from people who have no experience with this procedure or any other weight loss surgery.  And even some who I've spoken to who haven't been super sure about my decision, have been encouraging and spoken their concern with lots of love.

But then there are "the others" ... those people who have felt the need to tell me that this is absolutely the wrong decision, that I will fail because I'm not having the "right" weight loss procedure done.  There have been many as well who have felt the need to tell me of their own, their family members' or their friends' stories of failure with the lap band.  I'm not ever sure what these people have in mind when they're telling me these stories.  I think maybe some of them are truly trying to help me - maybe they just don't know how to best going about doing that.  What I have found to be a common thread in all of these stories - is that none of them have been willing to fully commit to a "new life."  I've heard how they were only able to eat ice cream ... that they couldn't keep anything down ... they were only able to eat mashed potatoes or jello.  That while they initially lost some weight, they eventually gained that back and then some.

These stories ... they have done nothing more than make me want to prove these individuals wrong about the lap band!!  I can't imagine that if you do what the doctors have told me to do, stick to the rules, make the life changes that are necessary - that you can't succeed.  And I haven't thought and prayed about this for the past 3 years and dedicated myself to its success for the past 6 months to just fail at it now that it's really here!!  I will be a success story ... I will look back on this date - one year from now - and know that I made the RIGHT decision, the BEST decision.  I will be a different person - both inside and out ... a better person.