Catching Up (and an answer for Jace!!)

Okay ... I've been reprimanded by the sister for not keeping this updated!!  Sorry about that ... life has been getting in the way!!

First things first, I'm answering a question asked in the comments of my previous post by Jace.  What is a fill?  First of all - I LOVE that my family in Ohio is reading this & keeping up with me!!  Since I can't see you guys as often as I totally wish I could, it's great that I can share this way with you!!  I do get asked this question a lot ... by everyone from my mom to people at my office who are curious.  The best way I know how to describe it is to sort-of start from the beginning of the lap band procedure.  A ring of sorts is placed around the top of my stomach/bottom of my esophagus on the day of the actual procedure.  At that time, some saline is put into the tubing in that ring which constricts how much food/liquid can go through to my stomach at one time.  Because everyone is different, they do not normally put a large amount of saline in at that time.  I will have to go to follow-up appointments throughout the next few months now to make sure that no more saline needs to be added or none needs to be taken out.  Because at my last follow-up, I had lost a good amount of weight and I was eating correct size portions without feeling hungry - they didn't feel like I needed a fill at that time.  It's been a little over a week since that appointment and my next follow-up with them is Tuesday and I know I will need to have a fill done.  Last week I had only been on solid food for about 5 days.  Now I've been on solid food for 2 full weeks and I am not losing any more weight and I am able to eat more than I was and still not feel full.  I'm still being conscious of my food decisions and trying to eat small amounts - but it isn't always easy.  Anyway, I hope that answers your question Jace (and anyone else who was wondering the same thing!!!) ... if not, keep asking & I'll do my best to explain more!!

Now ... let me tell you that the fact that I haven't lost any more than the initial 30 lbs is kinda discouraging.  I'm not gaining anything back (so that's good) - but those first 30 seemed to just fall off so quickly ... a plateau this soon is hard for me.  However, I have decided that any time I need a confidence boost - I need only make a trip to my hometown to feel 100% better!!  This past weekend was our town's annual craft show put on by the band boosters.  My sister's in-law's had a booth the very first year (15 years ago) and over the years, my parents joined with them and now it's become a big family affair!  Both my sisters and their hubbys and the nieces come to town and most of the time, my cousin joins us as well so that we can all work the booth all day long on Saturday.  It's a family reunion as well as a small school/hometown reunion as it seems everyone in our little town comes out for this event to buy their Christmas decorations and get the first pics of the year with Santa who always makes an appearance.  This visit home was my first since the surgery -- no one had seen me at all since I began losing weight.  I may not be able to look into the mirror and see the loss, but apparently everyone else really does see it.  I got so many compliments and congrats ... and even a few who told me that I look younger (woohoo!).  I am really glad I visited home! :)  Below is just a glimpse of the new me (I got the hair done too!!) - and it's a glimpse of how I spent all afternoon, dealing with my crazy little monkey!!!!

I have talked about my procedure with a few people over the past few weeks.  One of the first questions I get is why I decided to do it.  I love food, I love to cook and in turn, I love to eat what I cook.  What would make me decide to have a surgery that prevents me from eating some foods at all and all foods to very small portions??  The answer to me, came about 3 years ago when I realized all the fun things I wanted to do with my nieces were much harder to do than I'd ever anticipated.  I couldn't run around in the yard like I wanted, I couldn't climb around in their toys because I was afraid I'd break them and I couldn't even swing on their swing set as easily as I wanted because I was uncomfortable.  I took 3 years to talk myself into it completely - and by then my wanting to run and play with 1 little girl had turned into wanting to run and play with 3 of the little munchkins ... and if I am ever to have my own kids, I don't want to have this ever be an issue at all.  I wasn't feeling really great on Sunday of this past weekend (I was getting the beginnings of a nasty cold) but my nieces were at my parents house with me and they were playing in the leaves in the backyard.  All I wanted to do was run and play with them as well ... and I WILL be doing that with them this time next year.  Here are my 3 little inspirations

Okay ... so I know this is really long ... but if you'll allow me just a little more of your time ... I know I haven't kept up with my Days of Thankfulness and there are WAY too many days to try and go back and catch up on.  But today, of all days, I want to say that I am so completely and ever thankful for the health of my family.  On Sunday, a really great guy from my hometown (and the father of a really good friend of mine) lost his battle with lung cancer.  His funeral was today ... he was just a few years older than my dad, he left behind 2 sons (both younger than me), 4 sweet little grandbabies (2 who will never even remember him they are so young) and a wife of 39 years.  I have another friend whose mother is battling cancer as well and chances are very slim that she will be with her family much longer either.  I pray for these families, my friends who are saying good-bye to their parents so early in life and as much as my heart aches for them - I am so thankful that I am not living their pain and heartbreak. I still have 3 grandparents, both of my parents are in good health ... I'm so lucky, so blessed, so grateful.  So if you are lucky enough to have your family around you in the next weeks as you celebrate the holidays - hug them! Hug them, squeeze them, tell them just how much they mean to you.  Tomorrow is not promised to any of us ... you never know if you'll have that chance again.

First Follow-Up Visit

I completely worked myself up over this follow-up visit.  I have no idea why ... but I actually think I was more nervous going to this appointment today than I was for the surgery!  I did not eat much all day long and really didn't feel very hungry - my stomach was too full of knots.  I got into my appointment right on time (very impressive!) and the first person I met with was George - my nutritional guide for AfterCare.  He was great!!  He advised that my official weight loss is 25 lbs (15 post surgery) ... I was a little bummed by that since my scale says 30 lbs, but I always weigh first thing in the morning and not with jeans, shirt & shoes on!! ... so I say it probably evens out!! lol  George went over the basics with me - the ins and outs of what I should do and shouldn't do and how much I should be eating and what I should be eating.  I am VERY happy to tell you that I am doing everything already that he mentioned.  He did advise that I could probably eat a little more solid food - just to test out my band and to see if I have any problems with anything, but otherwise I'm doing exactly what I'm supposed to be.  After he left, Shunta (the NP) came to chat with me and discuss my first fill.  After she looked at all my numbers and asked me questions about what I've been eating - she decided there is no need for me to have a fill at this time.  She said that typically patients have only lost around 10 lbs at 4 weeks and since I'm already at 14 and I'm eating well, she doesn't want to fill if it's not needed.  YAY!!  I count that as a win because I wasn't looking forward to liquids for 2-3 days again!!!  She said that since I've only been eating "solid" food for just under a week - she would like me to continue where I'm at for at least 2 more weeks.  So basically, this appointment was GREAT!  I was worried over nothing and it all boiled down to me being told I'm doing great and to keep it up!  I go back again two weeks from today & we'll re-evaluate.  She said it's not abnormal for someone to not have to get a fill on their first follow-up - it's about 50/50 - so I am good with being right there with the average person!!

... Day 5 of Thankfulness ... I am thankful for my Grandma & Grandpa Cochran.  Family means a lot to grandma & grandpa and they instilled that into their children who then passed it onto their kids ... and I believe you can see that in each of us.  Family gatherings with the Cochran family is crazy & insane ... and fun & exciting!  There are so many of us now - we seem to get bigger every time I turn around!! - but it's clear that grandma & grandpa are the center of us, the glue that holds us all together.  I have learned to cook by watching them, learned to sew with grandma VERY patiently sitting beside me, and gotten to hear stories of not only their lives as young people but about my mom & her siblings as well (which I love!).  I love getting to spend time with family when are all able to get together - but I also love the times that I get to spend with just grandma & grandpa.  Glad you both are the glue that holds are crazy, silly, insane family together - we are all very lucky to have you!!!!

Day 4 of Thanks

Day of 4 of Thanks - I am super thankful for my Grandma Gaston.  She is such an amazing inspiration and example - she is an amazing Christian woman, an awesome friend, and so unbelievably strong.  We lost my grandpa just over 2 years ago and the first thing so many people commented to me about was what would grandma do without him.  Admittedly, I wondered the same thing - but then, I knew that grandma was a super independent woman and she would make it through anything!  She still takes care of things on the farm, lives there all by herself and is still the same ole her! :)  I know she misses grandpa and I'm sure there are days that are difficult for her, but her strength and her independence are very much an inspiration.  There is so much more I could say about her, but my words always seem to get jumbled up when I talk (or write) about her!  I love my grandma - she is the world to me!!!

-- I don't have much to tell about my Weight Loss Journey today ... other than, tomorrow I will have plenty to share because tomorrow afternoon is my first visit back to True Results ... they will evaluate how I am doing so far and we'll decide if I need to have a "fill" this month (which I can already guess will be yes). Anyway - I'll fill everyone in on that tomorrow!!!!

First Time I Think I Messed Up ...

Okay ... so up until this point, I've been really good at following all the rules down to the last letter.  I was on soft foods and liquids for so long that it was really easy to limit how much I ate because I just put it in a measuring cup.  Starting this past Thursday though, I was able to start eating "real" food again ... and I experienced my first, "uh oh."  It wasn't bad, but it definitely made me stop and think and become really aware again!!

The suggestion when starting to put real food back into the diet of someone who has had lapband is to take it very slowly and only introduce a few foods at a time.  I thought the best way to do that was to incorporate some of the soft foods I'd already been eating with "real" food as well.  So, I bought tostada shells and some low fat cheddar cheese and decided for dinner last night, I'd make a tostada.  I heated the shell, heated some refried beans (my soft food) and put just a little cheese on top.  While that doesn't sound like that big of a deal (and I really thought it wasn't) - this is where my "uh oh" became a little complicated.

I couldn't decide if I maybe took too big of a bite, ate it too quickly, or maybe the melted cheese on top wasn't a good idea.  I had been warned about the feeling that I could get when I overate or ate something that didn't "work" anymore for me ... but actually HAVING that feeling wasn't really something I was prepared for.  **WARNING - this next is kinda graphic**  But I HATE to throw-up, in fact I avoid it whenever possible (even if I feel awful and that might make me feel better!) ... but never have I felt like I did last night.  It wasn't like being nauseous and it wasn't entirely like feeling like I'd overeaten - but it was uncomfortable and annoying and stressing me out.  I started pacing around my apartment, holding my arms over my head, breathing really slowly, trying to make that really awful feeling go away in any way I could think. It was AWFUL!!!  I don't ever want to feel that way again.

So ... what did I do about it?  Well, I had to know what the actual culprit to my horrible feeling actually was.  I can't prevent it from happening again unless I really know the problem ... sooooo ... guess what I ate for dinner again tonight?!?! haha ... yeah, I had another tostada.  I prepared it exactly like I did last night, but this time - I ate very small bites, chewed each bite very carefully, swallowed and made sure I took a full minute between each bite.  The verdict?  It wasn't the melted cheese (thank goodness!!!).  Tonight I felt much better after eating and just felt full like I was supposed to.  It was very clear that my problem last night had been tendency to eat too quickly.  I have to be much better at focusing on things like that.  Wish me luck - this is one thing I'm not really great at!!

Okay ... so next is my Day 3 of Thankfulness ... I am thankful for my two beautiful, amazing sisters.  We fought and bickered and spent a great deal of time during our childhood driving our parents crazy with all of that!!  My mom always told me that one day we'd surprise ourselves and be great friends and love each other a lot ... I think I probably rolled my eyes at her and said "whatever" each time she said that.  However, as she was with many things, mom was right.  We still drive each other crazy on occasion all the time and we are VERY opinionated when it comes to certain all subjects ... but we truly love each other & we are there for each other unconditionally.  They are my best friends and the two people on this earth who understand so much about me that no one else ever could, just because they're my sisters.  God blessed me so much when He added two little baby girls to my family ... my life would not be the same without them!

November Month of Thanks

So during the month of November on Facebook - a very popular thing to do is 30 Days of Thankfulness posts.  I have always participated, but this year - I think I'm moving that to my blog.  It irritates some people on Facebook, but I feel like I have SO many things to be thankful for this year and I really want to do this.  So, look forward to daily posts this month and mixed in with my normal comments about my weight loss journey, I'm going to mix in all the blessings in my life.

So - Days 1 & 2 of November, I am incredibly blessed and thankful for the most amazing parents in the entire world.  My mom & dad have been married for nearly 40 years and absolutely inspire me to keep looking for the perfect spouse, someone who will love me for me and I won't settle.  They are great role models as loving, Christian parents, working parents, a loving couple - things that I am looking to be one day in my life.  My dad survived raising 3 daughters, being the only man in the house and my mom survived raising 3 girls - even through the teenage years when daughters never think their moms know anything!! :)  I am so blessed to have these 2 people as my parents. They are my biggest cheerleaders, my biggest inspiration - without whom I would be very lost in this world.  I love you both, mom & dad!!!  Thank you for all you do and all your encouragement and love!!!

Real Food Again ...

As of 2 days ago, I began putting "real" food into my system again.  I haven't done much - some chicken, refried beans, shrimp - but the serving sizes of everything has been sooo tiny! In comparison, I'd say that my 2 year old niece eats about 3 times the amount I do in one sitting!!! lol  But I'm eating until I'm full - not stuffed, but comfortably full.  In my entire life, I could never dream that that amount of food would make me comfortable for half a day!!

More people at work are starting to notice the weight loss and I am still getting comments that I look happier than I have in a long time.  I honestly thought I was always a happy person, but apparently these days I am even happier! :)

I took a quick picture of myself this morning that I thought I'd share.  I am still not super comfortable with taking pictures of myself - I really hope that that will change as time goes on!  Thank you so much again for all the kind words and comments that I have been getting - they truly mean more than you'll ever know!!